[text(s) from dracula's phone to everyone that can possibly be contacted with it]

[bagropa]

text 1:

Is this a communciator

thirty seconds later:

Why do you ceelbrate this holida with crude explosive decives

one minute later:

hat is the meaing of theday i do not even??

three minutes later:

you area ll butts

Comments

[rae_of_sun]

[Okay, normally she'd ignore this sort of thing, but seriously, what the hell?]

Who is this?

[bagropa]

who Iare you!

1/2

[rae_of_sun]

A butt, apparently.

2/2

[rae_of_sun]

Sunshine. Do I know you, or are you just spamming the network?

[bagropa]

snushine vFROPA IT IS ME

[rae_of_sun]

[After thirty seconds of parsing followed by disbelief.]

Croach???

1/4

[bagropa]

obiously

[bagropa]

why does th commicater not correct my

[bagropa]

waht is the word?

[bagropa]

words

1/2

[rae_of_sun]

Autocorrect must be disabled.

[rae_of_sun]

Also, where have you been? Are you okay?

[bagropa]

your primative elec techo .?? it is dumb i am glorius

1/2

[rae_of_sun]

[Another thirty seconds of rereading and dawning realization.]

Are you drunk? Or did someone drug you or something?

[rae_of_sun]

Where are you??

1/?

[bagropa]

areall humans so noticey

2/?

[bagropa]

did i inact sarcasmcorently yES

3/3

[bagropa]

jhe syas bill the bot peri died here??

1/2

[rae_of_sun]

[composed before the incomprehensible third text]

I thought you didn't even like alcohol

[rae_of_sun]

[after the incomprehensible third text and a substantial pause]

What is the designation of your current location?

[bagropa]

bagrioa it is WILLbots end willthe bot dieddddd here

[rae_of_sun]

Okay. Stay there. I'm on my way over.

[rae_of_sun]

[Around 5:00, in the hopes it'll encourage him to stay put.]

I'm bringing Bitter Chocolate Death.

[bagropa]

WINNER

1/3

[johnny_truant]

wat the fcuk?

2/3

[johnny_truant]

who r you even. how did you get this number

3/3

[johnny_truant]

are you like actualdracula because i thought you dbe a better spller

[bagropa]

well yiu are ine wgi Is saying things

[johnny_truant]

i am drunk as fuck whts your excuse

[bagropa]

Ibre ineb yES an do not miss misdeni gate me

1/2

[johnny_truant]

oh ok. rock on buddy

2/2

[johnny_truant]

sowho rhefuck r yiu

[bagropa]

sunhein???

[johnny_truant]

what??

[heysoulsister]

b̥͓̙̟̘̬̖́̿̅ͮͦ͗ͬṵ̜͕̩̉̓͒͂̑ͩ̌ͅẗ̞̙͋̾͋t͙͉͇̯̙s̫͕̰͇̓͒ ̲̮ ̜͕̱̥͕̻͖̓̆B̝͔́U̳̖̭̺͎̺ͯ͊̐T̫̲̫̔T͖̜̻̺͂̊̄̃̈S̳͔͚̆
̠̠̝͓͉̉͊
ͯ͆͒B͚͉͍̹̰͑̋̂̓̄̍ͥǘ̠͎͔̼̺̲̄Ṯ͔̞̦̭̭͋̔͆̆ͧ̊t̲̩͙Sͣ
̟ͥ̃̂͂ͧͤ͋
̤̱̖ͮ̽͊̿͆̏̂b̥͚͂͊ͮu͕͈̎̈̋̔͋t̠̼̝͚̥̹ͬt̝͙̝͈͉̳̄͛ͦͫ̈́̊s̼̦̩̜̳̺͕̾͂́̓̿bͫ͊̅̽͐ū̮̺̹̻t͈͙̰t̝̻ͥs̯b̽̎̂̂u̿̃̄ͮͦ̀̄t̬͊t̯̺ͥͭ̄s͈͓̞̦͇̱ͤ̓̏ͪ̆̏

[bagropa]

mlk of buttttss

[heysoulsister]

M͈̥̼͙͚̖͙͉͐̿̔̚L͚̬̘̰͛͂K̺ͣ̏̀̎͑̓̎ͪͅ ̤̦͙̼͖̋͋̉͆ͧ̐̄̈ͅẉ̬͕̻̝̀ͧ͗a̭̳̦̲̳ͬ̚s̙̹̜͉̿͛ͤ̿̀̊
͓͎̦͕͖̥͔̼̭ͫͩ̈͆͌̾a̜̝̺͉̼̩̥͆͌̓ͅ
̫̼̯͙̫̬̂̓̃͐̂ͩH̖͍̺̹͕́E̼̖̙̝͙ͧ͋̓̆R̝͓̋̔Ö̭͙͓̥̗̹̺̊͐