[open text to all]

[peacefulexplorer]

Hi. I don't usually send open messages but frankly at this point i've run out of options

knowing how things go this is probably the rifts fault somehow and i wanted to know if we're the only ones

so. basically. since I woke up I've been floating about two feeet off the ground. and i cant get down.

also. my roommate's turned into a cat.

does anyone have any advice

Comments

3/3

[singthesong]

Hdhhhshfjdhdhd

[That would be a keysmash of utter frustration and (quite frankly) a bit of indignation at the completely uncreative pseudonym that just came out of his mouth. Fingers. Thing.]

[peacefulexplorer]

[That last text might mean something's a little off. Or it might mean his fingers slipped. Frankly it's difficult to tell.]

i take it you're a righty?

[peacefulexplorer]

rifty

[singthesong]

No.

I don't even know what that is.

[At this point he should probably just end the conversation...but he kinda doesn't want to be alone with this? A tourist just asked him for directions and he sent them in the opposite direction? He can't even point right!]

[peacefulexplorer]

[That's definitely cause for alarm.]

pretty sure this is a rifty-accessible only network

how did you get in

[singthesong]

I hacked it. I'm a master hacker and OH WAIT HOLD ON

[The Balladeer has remembered that the phone has a camera on it! The next text is just a picture of himself, waving at the camera with a small sheepish smile, brow furrowed in apparent distress.]

[peacefulexplorer]

[Okay, yes! He remembers this guy - and he's also pretty sure he's a rifty. And he didn't introduce himself as John?

Yes. All right. Weird things are definitely afoot.]

The balladeer right? not John.

[peacefulexplorer]

is your phone sending false messages without your consent

[If this is another phone thing that might mean they can establish a pattern. But the Balladeer certainly doesn't seem to have malicious intent here. He looks genuinely upset about the whole mess.]

[singthesong]

Yes

[WOW UNHELPFUL SELF

And then the ellipsis icon appears and lingers for a few minutes while he tries to work out the most informative thing he is currently capable of typing.]

I have been completely honest with everyone all day!

[peacefulexplorer]

[Oh. OHH. Okay, NOW he gets it.]

you can only tell lies?

[peacefulexplorer]

well okay dont answer that. because you probably can't

[peacefulexplorer]

point being you're not the only one weird things are happening to

but it should fade away in a few days I think? the rift does things like this sometimes and they don't usually last long

[singthesong]

Oh that's too bad this is really great

[he hates this so much]

[peacefulexplorer]

[Aha, he's getting better at this backwards interpretation thing. It's kind of like a hostage situation. But less morbid.]

Well other than that you're okay?

[singthesong]

Nope

[yeah he guesses he's fine]

[peacefulexplorer]

well if you need anything Im currently...out of commission in that I cant really go out. I'm floating. about two feet above the ground. Very inconvenient.

[peacefulexplorer]

but you could probably come to me if you need to? I'm staying with a friend in hell's kitchen. knkow where that is?

[singthesong]

Sure, I go there all the time.

[peacefulexplorer]

Roommate is currently feline but if Im interpreting him correctly i thin khe's all right with it

[Attached is a geotag with their location.]

[peacefulexplorer]

although if you do stop by could you possibly pick up cat food? willing and able to pay back, just dont think people will take kindly to a purchase by a floating person

[singthesong]

[wow a geotag he understands so little of this technology

whatever, he'll figure it out]

Absolutely not, do it yourself. [...wow, that one came out pretty hostile?]

[peacefulexplorer]

[He's...assuming this is just the lying thing. Okay. He's rolling with that.]

okay thank you.

[singthesong]

It's a huge problem.

[so no biggie]