Everything you did in front of him was absolutely the opposite of what you should do. Never act like that again. You defer to him always. He is the exception to your anti-authoritarian attitudes, and mine. I don't think you understand how very little it would take for him to kill you.
We can't protect each other from this. Also you don't have a fucking monopoly on self-flagellation. I will never forgive myself if something happens to you because of me and that's. It's just what it is. You can't say that to me and then not hear it repeated back to you.
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