[text to Sunshine]

[eliotwaugh]

Hey SO I know youre not awake at this ungodly hour but this has been,

like the worst night in the entire world there is only one way to solve it

you, me, liquor, breakfast foods
whaddya say, I promise it won't be a social disaster
help me drink to forget!

Comments

[rae_of_sun]

[Bakers keep pretty ungodly hours, so a return text shows up a little after four in the morning.]

Should I bring the bigger spatula?

1/2

[eliotwaugh]

[sleep has been fleeting, and he spends a minute choking with laughter before replying]

Ha HAAAAAAAA you're the worst and I love you

2/2

[eliotwaugh]

is there even a spatula big enough for near death experiences idek

[rae_of_sun]

Shit, are you okay?

[eliotwaugh]

yeah it's complete bullshit just a run-in in the park I don't even

UGH what is life

[rae_of_sun]

Well, it's my solemn friend duty to feed you and enable your drunktimes. I get off work noonish so it's kind of late for brunch, but whatever.

What should I bring besides myself and bakery treats?

[eliotwaugh]

time is an illusion, brunch can be at any hour!

[he considers this next bit for a good while before deciding that the potential for entertaining distraction outweighs the potential for more third-wheeling]
hrm how is your vampire boyfriend? I feel like we might have gotten off on the wrong foot before and like, he is welcome to enjoy booze and baked goods too if he wants.

[rae_of_sun]

I'll check with him when I see him. My guess is a 'yes' provided he can pregame and that we don't talk too much about his dick.

[eliotwaugh]

lol how much is "too much"

I kid

[rae_of_sun]

Probably 'any' let's be real. He's shy.

[rae_of_sun]

[seven years some hours later]

Ooookay we might need to take a rain check. BF has a broken leg and there's neighbor drama.

Sorry. Ugh.

what the frickle frackle

[eliotwaugh]

[several bewildered minutes after that]

do I even want to know?
Is this related to the neighbor drama or? like girl go easy on him with that spatula, damn

anyway that is fine, I'll go out and get provisions and we can have a whole shebang at a later time. no worries!

[rae_of_sun]

Apparently there's some masked weirdo attacking people now, idek. Neighbor drama just a fun bonus.

[eliotwaugh]

......what the fuck, you're kidding, right?

that is literally what happened to me. fuck.

[rae_of_sun]

Seriously??! How many people did this guy jump on last night, gods.

[eliotwaugh]

well at least three I guess, you think it's some new Rifty from some horror movie universe? Ugh or like leftover faction vigilante, there was a reason I never got involved in that whole business and it was to /avoid/ drama like this.

yikes okay so extra booze for your man, he like...drinks booze right?

1/2

[rae_of_sun]

Yeeeeeesh, I hope not. Maybe I can convince Spike to subdue/tie him up next time, if there's a next time.

[rae_of_sun]

He definitely drinks booze. Really he can eat/drink anything. He likes people food, he just can't live off it.

... Not that he isn't people.

[eliotwaugh]

he's /definitely/ people, way the hell more than the vampires that were in my world. Think they might be extinct bc they were basically just walking corpses, not too bright.

ANYWAY if I find interesting kitchen supplies I might do an onion flower, he'd like that probably!

[rae_of_sun]

Your universe is gross.

He'll LOVE that and you should definitely do it.