[text to aziraphale]

[anguiform]

So I got the scoop on your fungus monster kid

Comments

[bibliophale]

Oh grand! What did you find out?

[anguiform]

She's down in the lower level, one of the low-security cells. She's not really a prisoner, from what I can tell, she just sort of... lives here. But there's a whole ROMAC research team for, you know, the various weird things that come through the rift, and there's plans to take tissue samples from her and analyse them, try and isolate the fungus from the human bits or... something. Dunno what they think they're going to do with it once they get it.

1/2

[bibliophale]

Hmm. I see.

2/2 (a few minutes later)

[bibliophale]

I'm going to get her out. I'll talk to you later.

[anguiform]

WAIT WAIT what just like that? You met this kid in a dream last night, you don't even know her, and now you're going to STEAL her?

[anguiform]

What makes you think she's going to want to come with you?

[anguiform]

You could have nefarious purposes

[anguiform]

ALSO SHE'S A FUNGUS MONSTER. SERIOUSLY ANGEL.

[anguiform]

Did you leave your phone in the shop?

[anguiform]

Fuckssake, NOW IS NOT THE TIME FOR IMPULSIVE BAD DECISION MAKING

[anguiform]

Seriously do we not have enough on our plates?

[anguiform]

You can't keep a fungus child in your shop, you know. She'll probably infect the books, fungus loves old paper.

[anguiform]

And I will do nothing about it. In fact I will ENCOURAGE it. I'll come round and see how it likes the taste of your 14th century palimpsests

[anguiform]

DELICIOUS DELICIOUS ANTIQUE BOOKS

[anguiform]

OM NOM NOM. That's what the kids on the internet are saying these days. It'll be OMNOMNOM all over the place, just you wait. Course that'll keep the customers out even more effectively than your vampire

[anguiform]

If those are the kind of tactics you're stooping to these days