[PM]

[essentiallyharmless]

[sent to Peter]

So, I have a business proposal for you.

Comments

[fucking_ebay]

And what would that be?

[essentiallyharmless]

I have discovered a knack for relieving people of their money, but it's best if they're already distracted. Just thought I could come visit your shows.

Not quite the type of assistant you insinuated I should be, but nonetheless.

[fucking_ebay]

Well, look at the first lady now.

Alright -- trial run tomorrow morning. You don't speak to me at all while we're out there.

[essentiallyharmless]

Ex-first lady doesn't pay well. And I'm not sure what you're implying. Status doesn't imply trustworthiness, nor do I hope I've come across as a snob unwilling to sink to such levels. Plus, it's fun.

Of course. Maybe I'll pay you with someone else's money, though.

[fucking_ebay]

Just wondering where someone like you picks up that particular skill. Something you haven't told me?

It's all someone else's money until it lands in your pocket. That's just what money is.

[essentiallyharmless]

Yes.

And are you going philosophical on me?

[fucking_ebay]

If it serves the purpose.

[essentiallyharmless]

Then again, if you were going to get philosophical about something, I guess it's only to be expected it would be money.

[fucking_ebay]

Yeah, like you're some great judge of character.

[essentiallyharmless]

I'm not a terrible one, I just prefer people who aren't boring. When I first met Zagreus, he mentioned burning down a ferris wheel for fun once. I'm fairly certain he didn't make it up. People like that are just more interesting, you know?

[fucking_ebay]

How is it I keep meeting lunatics?

[essentiallyharmless]

It's New York with a rift in space and time. I doubt there are weirder places in this time. You'll get used to it, I'm sure. I did.

[fucking_ebay]

I miss Vegas.

I've been here longer, remember? Maybe I don't want to get used to it.

[essentiallyharmless]

Then what do you plan to do about it besides whining?

[fucking_ebay]

It's not like it's my fault everyone here is fucked up. Why should I have to do anything about it?

[essentiallyharmless]

I mean if you don't like it here, why don't you leave?

[Look who's talking.]

[fucking_ebay]

Have you found a way off this island? Because I'm all ears over here.

[essentiallyharmless]

I haven't been looking; I'd be equally miserably everywhere.

[fucking_ebay]

Of course. How helpful of you.

[essentiallyharmless]

I live to serve, etc.

Honestly though, I can't help but feel like your problems are a bit more personal besides how terrible this city and its people are. Ever considered, I dunno, actually talking about it?

[fucking_ebay]

And now you're a therapist? Maybe there are things I'd rather not talk about. At all.

[essentiallyharmless]

Shockingly, there are other people in one's life that one may choose to share things with, besides those you pay to listen. But if you'd like to reject any even vaguely friendly gesture completely out of hand, who am I to force you?

[fucking_ebay]

It's private.

[essentiallyharmless]

I'm not prying!

If you don't need a friendly ear, how about a bottle of raspberry vodka?

[fucking_ebay]

...Now, that does sound like a thing that I need, yeah.